whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
