dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
