I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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