I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
be right there i have to get my cape
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
