Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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