Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
