He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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