I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
