You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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