He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
