just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
