I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Mom said you looked used
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
