he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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