if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
