So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
