can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
