Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
