I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
