What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
