i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
