I seem to have left my pride at pride
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
