I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
