I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
