why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Can I color on your dick again?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
