Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
