Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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