They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
