I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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