I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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