it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
