i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize