You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
