hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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