The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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