I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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