So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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