I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
