I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
