my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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