At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
