So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
