Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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