You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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