hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
organizing the empties. That sober.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
