He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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