found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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