The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize