So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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