This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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