If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
