If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
