im about as happy as oj after his trial
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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