is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
