Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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