dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
