come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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