My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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