I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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