do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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