Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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